Happiness and Positive Psychology is not about being all ‘Happy-Clappy’
Positive psychology looks at what works in terms of boosting happiness & emotional well-being, backed by research findings
I stumbled across this article (Staying Positive in Adversity) on the WebMD site today and found this paragraph particularly useful & refreshing:
When someone is suffering, the suggestion to focus on the positive can cause further hurt. It leaves many feeling like their pain is being invalidated and is unimportant, which can feel the same as being told that they are unimportant. Before people who are suffering can begin to reach for some help out of their pain, they often need validation for their experience. They need to get the message that their pain is understood; it is a very human experience; and it is worthy of compassion. Once they receive this message, they are often able to gain the comfort and soothing they need. This is a positive experience, which sometimes enables them to reach for more positive experiences.
Read full article here.
In my book, ‘Recipe for Happiness‘, I have a chapter called ‘Pain is a Good Thing'; I often talk about this in my keynote speeches and workshops, because such an important element of being happy is not to feel that you cannot show or feel pain. It is ok to be devastated when devastating events happen in our lives. It is normal and it is healthy to acknowledge and let ourselves feel the pain that these events bring.